POSTPARTUM STUFF NO ONE TELLS YOU ABOUT
OK, I started this blog posting about 10 weeks ago when Rhys was 10 weeks old. I can’t believe how time has flown by… below in italics is my original posting with new commentary thereafter:
It’s mommy Ginny again and Rhys is now 10 weeks old. At just over two months, he is 90th percentile in both height and weight growth. He’s grown 9 cm since birth and has gained over five pounds from his discharge weight. He’s already into 3-6 months clothing! Every day, I am amazed at how fast they grow and develop. He’s just started to smile and laugh silently; I can’t wait for the day his giggles make noise. For now, I’ll take the all over body smiles he beams at us when he’s happy.
The Sixth Week Shock… Otherwise known as the postpartum six week following up with your OB… I had a caesarean section so not sure if this applies to women who had natural births. When I was called into the room, they gave me a gown and said I can undress from the bottom down. I looked at the nurse with utter confusion thinking to myself, “WHY? The baby is no longer inside me!” But just a polite “Why?” came out and she said they needed to do a pap test. Inside my head I screamed, “ARE YOU SHI**ING ME!?!!?!?” I thought the six week follow-up was to see how the baby was doing, not how my parts were doing! Well, upon the words “pap test”, without saying a word, my husband immediately turned around and wheeled the baby with him back into the waiting room. Like most women, I hate these tests and even more so, hate being surprised with one.
Then my OB comes into the room with a chirpy, warm “Hi, how are you doing?” her first question after that was “Have you had intercourse yet?” To which I responded a very surprised and disgusted “NO WAY! Are you kidding me!? It was only last week I started touching my incision site!” I can see she tried her hardest not to laugh. Then I wondered, how many women say yes?
So, in the 13 weeks since the traumatic sixth week follow-up, I’ve started to poll other new mommies on how long it took them to have sex again. It took us a very long time and from my point of view, it was more to get it over with than anything (I’m sure my husband has different thoughts on this subject). I’ve heard 3.5 months, 5.5 months, etc, and one of my friends asked me “Do what?” when I asked her “How long did it take you to do it again?” We had a good laugh because obviously ‘doing it’ didn’t even register in her vocabulary anymore. Then I realized, the average for vaginal births is 4 to 6 weeks and c-sections is 6 to 8 weeks. That’s AVERAGE, which means there are women who do it really early after birth to bring the average up! That’s just crazy!
Other stuff no one tells you about… if I listed everything this blog would be pages and pages long. But not wanting to bore everyone to death, I’ll just list a few:
- Babies sleep the most in the first two or three weeks. You feel like hell and like you’re going to die from sleep deprivation but in hindsight, he slept so much and I had so much more free time. The older they get, the less free time you have. I wished I knew that before he was born!
- We’ve just started sleep training Rhys now that he’s 4.5 months and we’ve resorted to the ‘cry it out method’ (the book we’re referencing is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child). ‘Cry it out’ should be renamed to ‘breaking mommy’s heart’. It’s so difficult to listen to them helplessly cry but we’re really trying to stick to it and hopefully bedtime bliss won’t be too far away.
- Do not put your baby in a light coloured outfit if he hasn’t pooped in over 24 hours! One afternoon after Rhys didn’t poop the day before (he normally poops 5-6 times a day, with two huge morning poops), I had him in an off-white sleeper… well, that sleeper was no longer white by the time he was done! There was poop everywhere! I had it on my pants, on my shirt, it covered his back! I can’t believe so much explosive poop can come out of such a tiny human being!
- Babies go through the teething process months before teeth actually appear! Rhys started having teething symptoms at three months and has been a chewing drooling machine since.
- The first time your baby laughs out loud at a tickle or a kiss or a peek-a-boo or just by looking at him, it completely melts your heart. The first time Rhys laughed out loud when I was kissing his belly brought tears to my eyes.
- Whoever you were as a person before your baby arrived does not matter as much; you are now ‘your baby’s mother’. It’s been a difficult adjustment for me (and I’m still adjusting). I joined a mommy group and it wasn’t until our fifth meeting that we all found out what we did for work before our babies were born.
- Stretch marks don’t necessary show up while you’re pregnant but ‘magically’ appear when you start shrinking back down to your pre-pregnancy size! I thought I escaped stretch marks because I didn’t have any when I was huge and 45 pounds bigger than I started. Then one day, at that point I’d lost about 30 pounds, I noticed it looked like Freddy Krueger attached my butt! Stretch marks galore made an unwelcomed appearance all over my butt and outer thighs! Oh well, they’re my ‘baby trophy’ marks I guess.
Well, I’ve probably bored you all to death by now and I need to do some errands now that Rhys is sleeping (after 1.5 hours of crying tonight!) Life as a mommy has been much more rewarding and fun once we graduated from ‘The first three months’. But babies really are time and energy wasters… who knows how long it will take me to write my next blog posting, if I ever get around to another one!
It’s mommy Ginny again and Rhys is now 10 weeks old. At just over two months, he is 90th percentile in both height and weight growth. He’s grown 9 cm since birth and has gained over five pounds from his discharge weight. He’s already into 3-6 months clothing! Every day, I am amazed at how fast they grow and develop. He’s just started to smile and laugh silently; I can’t wait for the day his giggles make noise. For now, I’ll take the all over body smiles he beams at us when he’s happy.
The Sixth Week Shock… Otherwise known as the postpartum six week following up with your OB… I had a caesarean section so not sure if this applies to women who had natural births. When I was called into the room, they gave me a gown and said I can undress from the bottom down. I looked at the nurse with utter confusion thinking to myself, “WHY? The baby is no longer inside me!” But just a polite “Why?” came out and she said they needed to do a pap test. Inside my head I screamed, “ARE YOU SHI**ING ME!?!!?!?” I thought the six week follow-up was to see how the baby was doing, not how my parts were doing! Well, upon the words “pap test”, without saying a word, my husband immediately turned around and wheeled the baby with him back into the waiting room. Like most women, I hate these tests and even more so, hate being surprised with one.
Then my OB comes into the room with a chirpy, warm “Hi, how are you doing?” her first question after that was “Have you had intercourse yet?” To which I responded a very surprised and disgusted “NO WAY! Are you kidding me!? It was only last week I started touching my incision site!” I can see she tried her hardest not to laugh. Then I wondered, how many women say yes?
So, in the 13 weeks since the traumatic sixth week follow-up, I’ve started to poll other new mommies on how long it took them to have sex again. It took us a very long time and from my point of view, it was more to get it over with than anything (I’m sure my husband has different thoughts on this subject). I’ve heard 3.5 months, 5.5 months, etc, and one of my friends asked me “Do what?” when I asked her “How long did it take you to do it again?” We had a good laugh because obviously ‘doing it’ didn’t even register in her vocabulary anymore. Then I realized, the average for vaginal births is 4 to 6 weeks and c-sections is 6 to 8 weeks. That’s AVERAGE, which means there are women who do it really early after birth to bring the average up! That’s just crazy!
Other stuff no one tells you about… if I listed everything this blog would be pages and pages long. But not wanting to bore everyone to death, I’ll just list a few:
- Babies sleep the most in the first two or three weeks. You feel like hell and like you’re going to die from sleep deprivation but in hindsight, he slept so much and I had so much more free time. The older they get, the less free time you have. I wished I knew that before he was born!
- We’ve just started sleep training Rhys now that he’s 4.5 months and we’ve resorted to the ‘cry it out method’ (the book we’re referencing is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child). ‘Cry it out’ should be renamed to ‘breaking mommy’s heart’. It’s so difficult to listen to them helplessly cry but we’re really trying to stick to it and hopefully bedtime bliss won’t be too far away.
- Do not put your baby in a light coloured outfit if he hasn’t pooped in over 24 hours! One afternoon after Rhys didn’t poop the day before (he normally poops 5-6 times a day, with two huge morning poops), I had him in an off-white sleeper… well, that sleeper was no longer white by the time he was done! There was poop everywhere! I had it on my pants, on my shirt, it covered his back! I can’t believe so much explosive poop can come out of such a tiny human being!
- Babies go through the teething process months before teeth actually appear! Rhys started having teething symptoms at three months and has been a chewing drooling machine since.
- The first time your baby laughs out loud at a tickle or a kiss or a peek-a-boo or just by looking at him, it completely melts your heart. The first time Rhys laughed out loud when I was kissing his belly brought tears to my eyes.
- Whoever you were as a person before your baby arrived does not matter as much; you are now ‘your baby’s mother’. It’s been a difficult adjustment for me (and I’m still adjusting). I joined a mommy group and it wasn’t until our fifth meeting that we all found out what we did for work before our babies were born.
- Stretch marks don’t necessary show up while you’re pregnant but ‘magically’ appear when you start shrinking back down to your pre-pregnancy size! I thought I escaped stretch marks because I didn’t have any when I was huge and 45 pounds bigger than I started. Then one day, at that point I’d lost about 30 pounds, I noticed it looked like Freddy Krueger attached my butt! Stretch marks galore made an unwelcomed appearance all over my butt and outer thighs! Oh well, they’re my ‘baby trophy’ marks I guess.
Well, I’ve probably bored you all to death by now and I need to do some errands now that Rhys is sleeping (after 1.5 hours of crying tonight!) Life as a mommy has been much more rewarding and fun once we graduated from ‘The first three months’. But babies really are time and energy wasters… who knows how long it will take me to write my next blog posting, if I ever get around to another one!
 |
| Rhys and I at a corporate luncheon in December 2010. He looks like a nerdy economist! |
posted by Virginia Morgan at
8:31 PM
2 Comments:
First of all, congratulations on your new motherhood - as you mention it is certainly life changing. I very rarely comment online, but I felt compelled after reading about your sleep training - I must admit I also find it heartbreaking to hear about an infant crying for 1.5 hours. In fact, I find it rather disturbing. Dr. Sears, a US pediatrician, has some great resources and research references related to the effects of 'crying it out'…maybe take a look? http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp
Becoming a mother for the first time leaves you unsure about so many things - I have found in my experience (I have 4 daughters, including twins) that going with your gut can most often lead you in the best direction.
By
TammyQ, At
January 19, 2011 9:01 PM
Hi TammyQ,
Thanks for commenting! I just found your comment now, I haven't been back to our blog since my last posting. I have also read Dr. Sears book "Nighttime Parenting", which I found to be a much easier and pleasant read than other sleep books. To be honest, we were using both methods! He'd cry to sleep (which he no longer does! He just goes down and sleeps! It's like magic now!!!) and when he woke in the middle of the night, I'd feed him and we'd keep him in our bed until morning rather than let him cry in his crib again. Probably not the best to mix methods but that's what we did to survive. He's now almost six months and goes back into his crib after a night feeding without protesting and sleeps until morning. It's the greatest feeling (for us!) to wake up at 7 am with the bed to ourselves rather than both of us sleeping at the edges of the bed with Rhys in the middle sleeping starfish! But there are nights I miss co-sleeping with my baby... the wamrth, cuddling, smell of him, and most of all, the heart-melting smile he gives us when he opens his eyes and is so happy to be in our bed next to us.
Congrats on surviving twins and four daughters, there's no way I'd be able to handle that!!!
Cheers,
Ginny
By
Virginia Morgan, At
February 25, 2011 8:59 PM
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