A Husband's Perspective

Hi Everyone…..Andrea here.

I am officially in the home stretch I guess. I can now see the light at the end of this pregnancy tunnel. Here I am in week 35 and absolutely shocked that I will meet my baby boy in only a matter of weeks. I cannot wait. Who is this little person that keeps me up at night with his kicks and stretches? Will he have a lot of hair? Will he look like his Daddy? Will he cry a lot? How much will he weigh? Finally – I will have answers to all these things that every soon-to-be parent wonders about.

So I was going to write about my complaints with this pregnancy and how I can’t wait for this kid to come out already. However, after reading how Ginny has PUPPP’s, I think I’m going to keep my mouth shut, because really….my sore back and hips do not compare to an extremely itchy rash on my body. I consider myself lucky that I’ve gotten off so easy.

On that note, I had to think long and hard about an interesting topic to write about. It dawned on me while sitting beside my husband Chris, that maybe getting “a husband’s perspective” on this whole knocked-up business could be enlightening for the blog readers…and also for myself. So I whipped out the pen and paper and began to “interview” my husband on pregnancy. So without further adieu, here is what he has to say on the matter:


A Husband’s Perspective

Q: How does it feel to be on the brink of having your second child?

A: I am totally excited. Can hardly wait. It’ll be fun to have a baby around again. From our first experience, there are a lot of things and moments we’ll know to capitalize on and really cherish because we now know how fast they grow up.

Q: Do you ever wish you could be the one that’s pregnant and get to experience childbirth?

A: No. It’s just not in a man’s mindset to do that. But I do wonder how you feel having a little miniature human floating around in your belly. (Note from Andrea: “Floating around in your belly”….hahahahaha…..only a man would say that…the last time I checked, a belly and uterus were two different body parts…no? Bless his heart).

Q: Is it strange seeing me with a big belly?

A: I get a totally different perspective of what a woman is and what she’s capable of doing. I realize how truly difficult being pregnant can be and at the same time how amazing it is. I hear you complain a lot about the hardships like a sore back and then I hear you talk about the great things in the same breath like the baby moving, the baby being able to hear my voice, etc.

Q: Do you find me attractive with a big belly?

A: Yes I do. I am just as attracted to you physically and emotionally. (Note from Andrea: I wonder if he would have the same answer if a non-biased third party was asking the question and not his very pregnant wife? Good answer Chris. You are a smart man.)

Q: What things have you enjoyed so far about our pregnancies?

A:

1. When you told me you were pregnant
2. Finding out the gender of our children early on in the pregnancy
3. Watching you change from my girlfriend, to my wife, and ultimately a mother
4. Watching you take an active interest in being pregnant. I admire the way you research and read about it.

Q: What things have you not enjoyed about our pregnancies?

A:

1. You hogging the bathroom and the bed
2. You wearing my underwear (Note from Andrea on this: Yes, it’s true, I wear his boxer shorts as pj’s sometimes because they are so comfy. Don't worry - I only wear the clean ones).
3. Your unpredictable mix of emotions.

Q: What is it like watching the birth of your baby?

A: Out of the top five things you’ll ever experience in life, it’s got to be #1. It’s the most emotional, most endearing, most human experience you’ll ever witness.

Q: What’s the hardest thing about having a newborn baby?

A: Realizing the daunting responsibility that you now own. You don’t know what responsibility is until you have a child.

Q: What is your take on driving a mini-van?

A: Why do they have to make them so ugly? I’d rather drive my parent’s 1972 station wagon that had wood paneling and chrome bumpers.

Q: What advice can you give first time Dad’s-to-be?

A: You can either be right or you can be happy when it comes to the heated and emotional debates you are guaranteed to have. Choose the later. (Note from Andrea: Please. Mother’s know best. That’s the way it’s always been. We can’t help that we’re right all of the time.)

So there you have it. That is what my husband Chris has to say. My plan now is teach him the difference between a belly and a uterus and their respective purposes.

So my last day of work is this Thursday! Yay! I’ll have three glorious weeks to relax before my son makes his debut. Don’t get me wrong – I actually have a long list of things I need to get done before September 28th (the big day), but it’ll be nice not working, you know?

On any note, I am so excited to finally get to meet my son. A new person to love. What beats that?

I’ll leave you with this great quote I came across:

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” – Elizabeth Stone

Ginny’s itching to give birth…

Literally, I am itching to give birth, specifically between 12 midnight and 6 am each night. What I thought was a heat rash on my belly and thighs is actually a rare pregnancy related rash called pruritic urticarial papules and plaques of pregnancy, or better known as PUPP. Unfortunately the only cure for this terrible prenatal rash is birth. The itching and formation of new itch bumps occur mostly at night and I have been sleep deprived due to the itching and scratching. At 37 weeks, birth can’t come soon enough for me!

PUPP usually happens to 1 in 150 to 250 women during their first pregnancies, appearing in the third trimester around the 35 week mark (mine appeared at 32 weeks). It starts off on the belly and can spread to the hands and feet. They say most women who get PUPPs give birth to boys (I’ll have to wait to see if I fit this statistic as well). Those who suffer from severe cases are sometimes induced to provide relief from the rash. The itch has been compared to chicken pox or poison ivy. Scratching from one area to another also spreads the rash, so I am always washing my hands after applying cream or a scratch attack.

My PUPPs has spread to my hands, feet, back, butt, legs and arms. My husband no longer cuddles me because having him touch me aggravates the itch (unless it’s to help me put on cream in places I can’t see or reach anymore). I was taking Benadryl to help me sleep at night and to reduce the itch but it wasn’t working well. My OB has since subscribed me sleeping pills and so far I’ve gotten five hours of solid sleep without waking up to scratch. Baking soda cold baths and ice packs temporarily soothe the itch. I have a steroid topical cream and a soothing moisturizing methanol cream (both by prescription) but the relief is only temporary (I’m talking 10-15 minutes temporary!)

I am not a morning person, nor am I a person that can survive happily with limited sleep. Having a baby and being awake at all hours was a concern for me. I feel like this rash that keeps me sleep deprived is nature’s evil way of helping me adjust to life with baby. I felt like an itchy zombie most days when I only got 45 minutes of sleep between itch attacks.

Also, on Wednesday, Aug 11 my OB had put me on medical leave effective Monday, Aug 16, which gave me 2.5 days to finish up loose ends at work. This was two weeks earlier than my intended last day of Aug 31. The combination of elevated stress, sleep deprivation, severe carpal tunnel, PUPP rash, and hemmies was enough for her to decide I need to stay home and relax. I’ve worked all my life and have been busy with work, outings, hobbies, etc. The thought of staying home to relax almost stressed me out! It took days of adjustment and I find myself bored silly most days. I can’t cook or bake because I can no longer reach and I can’t sew or make jewellery because of my carpal tunnel. So far I have watched five Harry Potter movies and a lot of mindless television. The less I have to do the less I get done, or the less motivation I have to do anything.

So add together all the issues I’ve had with this pregnancy plus the boredom and sense of cabin fever… I am SO ready for this baby to make its debut! Even just so that I’ll have someone to hang out with during the days! My alternative title for this blog posting was “Pregnancy sucks!”

…only 3.5 weeks more to go… must keep positive…

The Woes of Pregnancy and other Facts

Hi there….It’s me – Big Mama. Oops! I mean Andrea. My husband now refers to me as Big Mama all of the time, so I guess I’m starting to believe that is my actual name. It’s pretty believable actually once you get a look at me.

I’m now in my 33rd week and feeling pretty large. I’m also feeling like this pregnancy is starting to get the better of me. Things have gone a bit downhill in the last three weeks.

Gone are the days when I can walk around and climb stairs pain-free. Instead, I now have severe lower back and hip pain. I have a pretty high threshold for pain, so I know it’s bad when I actually feel like crying because the pain is so intense.

Moreover, I am the lucky recipient of melasma, otherwise known as “the mask of pregnancy”. The skin on my forward and cheeks have become very riddled with dark brown spots and blotches (I totally sound hot huh?). This skin condition has also been compared to resembling a raccoon. Nice eh? Thankfully I have a tan that hides this hideousness (at least a little bit); however, I’m a little worried what I’m going to look like once this tan fades. Apparently, “the mask” can fade a few months after birth….let’s just hope that it does, because I don’t think I’ll be cool with looking like a raccoon for the rest of my life. On the bright side, I can dress little Gracie up as a raccoon for Halloween this year and we’ll have matching costumes – how cute would that be??

So I’m happy to report that all of the hot weather we’ve been having hasn’t really been bothering me. I’m sure it helped that I was fortunate enough to be up north in cottage country on our recent vacation. Whenever the heat was too much, I just jumped in the lake. However, doing this made me realize that I’ve been lied to. Have you ever heard that women are more buoyant when pregnant? I’ve heard that a lot! Well let me tell you right now that it’s a total myth. It took all the energy I had to keep my head above water – I was an anchor sinking to the bottom! Needless to say, the good ol’ “pool noodle” came in very handy. The only difference though is that I had to jam six noodles under me to stay afloat rather than the usual two. I am dreading my next “weigh-in” at the doctor’s office.

Not only did I learn that pregnant women do not float, but I also learned that I am not the prettiest sight in a bikini. Firstly, my huge guns hardly fit into my XL size bikini top and my belly is starting to drop so low that it pulls down my bikini bottoms. Luckily, our neighbours are far enough away that my r-rated bathing suit probably didn’t offend them too much. I opted to purchase a larger size regular bikini over a maternity bathing suit because quite frankly, the maternity bathing suits I have seen are absolutely hideous – especially when you consider the cheapest one I have seen is $80.

So now that the end of this pregnancy is finally in sight, I am mentally preparing myself for the “baby blues”. Going into my first pregnancy, I had no idea what this was…because it was never mentioned to me. Eighty percent of women experience this after giving birth apparently. It’s caused by a drastic shift in hormonal levels and I think I could have coped a little bit better if only I had known what was happening to me. On that note, let me shed some light on this “baby blues” business for all soon-to-be first time mothers. Here’s what you can expect if you get the “baby blues”, and you probably will to some degree:

Two to three days after giving birth you will cry uncontrollably. The crying fits will likely happen multiple times throughout the day and last a couple of days. There will be absolutely no reason why you are crying – you just will. This in turn will make you think you’re going crazy, and your husband will likely start to wonder too…but rest assured, this is normal…it’s just the good ol’ baby blues. It’s so confusing when this is happening because you expect to be floating on a cloud of happiness after welcoming your first born into the world. This “baby blues” business will only last a few days. I think it’s when it gets to be weeks and months that post-partum depression becomes a concern so stay on the look-out for that.

Well folks…I just visited a farmers market and have a pecan tart waiting for me. This is very important business that I must attend to. Please note that this will be the second pecan tart for me today…but it’s very easy to justify eating two of these tarts because I’m not a selfish person, and the baby should have a tart too right? Of course he should.

Pregnancy is SO unsexy….

Hi it’s Ginny again… So the purpose of this blog is for us to share our real life experiences right? Well, here goes some very real but personal details I’ve been experiencing lately. I’m now 33 weeks into my pregnancy and 40 pounds heavier! Before I got pregnant, I used to think it must be so sexy and womanly to carry a baby…. Yeah perhaps during months five and six in the second trimester, before and after that are just hellish. Anyhow, even if I make one person laugh or one pregnant person appreciate this sharing, it’ll be worth the embarrassment. But then a girlfriend recently said, ‘funny how nothing's embarrassing anymore once you've been through pregnancy and child birth.’

The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man…

I didn’t think it was possible but I have swelled even further since my last posting. One morning this week I woke up with my hands and feet so fat I couldn’t make a fist. It was painful and I now have carpal tunnel in both hands and my feet hardly fit into my rubber flip flops. I feel like I look like the Marshmallow Man from GhostBusters! Soaking your feet in cold water and ice packs really do help.

Grooming, or lack thereof…

So as with most pregnant women, I haven’t seen my bits in weeks or months! It’s very hard to groom it when you can’t see it! My husband thinks it’s funny and doesn’t help me when I ask, so I have to beg and nag. The last time I went for a bikini wax, which was way back during week 20, I ended on the aestheticians table in fetal position practically begging her to stop. She kept saying, ‘but I’m not done and you’re lopsided!’, I said I didn’t care it hurt WAY too much to continue. I was actually in tears, and I wasn’t doing anything crazy like a Brazilian, just a normal bikini cleanup. With the increased blood flow to the region due to pregnancy, waxing is SO much more painful and bleedy. Yuck.

Carrying low…

Since week mid-twenties… can’t recall exactly which week… I have been carrying quite low. So low that I can no longer close my legs when I sit down, which wasn't such a good thing since all my skirts were knee length. My purse or laptop bag was always strategically placed between my legs on the subway. I had to go find some maxi dresses (aka more stylish moo-moo’s) in a hurry! But that’s not the bad part… a rash has developed where my thighs and belly rub together when I sit. I know, nice hey? It’s probably a combination of this heat and humidity, the chafing my skin is not used to and the non-breathable material a couple of my dresses are made of. So add to the cellulite a nice rash and you’re feeling sexy. But wait, that’s not all…

This is the real icing on the cake…

Hemmies…

Hemmies is an endearing name I’ve made up this week for something really gross and embarrassing that I kept reading about in the prenatal books, usually associated with constipation which I have not suffered from (probably the ONLY pregnancy symptom I’ve escaped!). So how I found out about my hemmy… it’s been SO hot in Toronto I sleep naked, which most people do anyways. Except two nights ago I was moving around on the bed and my husband said, “What’s that hanging out of your ass?” I laughed and figured he was joking. He said he wasn’t kidding and there was really something sticking out. I still didn’t believe him. I didn’t feel anything strange or unusual and figured he was just trying to freak me out. He went and got a big mirror so I can see my own behind and I screamed, “OMG! IT'S A HEMMY!!!!” …a hemorrhoid! Yup there it was - a small, pink round thing sticking out of my butt hole! I had no idea it was there, it didn’t bother me and I didn’t feel it. A buddy of ours recently told us how he got hemorrhoids doing some heavy lifting but he felt a “pop” and wondered what happened. He was also in pain and found it very uncomfortable to sit. I didn’t experience a pop, nor do I have pain or discomfort but just knowing it’s there makes me feel icky. The baby books said you can get them from increased pressure from the baby, and with my baby so low, that’s probably how I got it. (I attempted to find an appropriate image for this section but no go! It was gross what Google Images came up with and I’m not prepared to post that part of my anatomy!)

So fat swollen extremities, cellulite brought on by pregnancy, chafing heat rashes, and hemmies… yeah, I totally feel like a smoking sexy beast right now! Someone shoot me next time I think of having a baby over the summer months!

Oh yeah, and two other lovely prenatal words to leave you with… perennial massage. This topic does not appear in the baby books until month eight or nine and is highly recommend for first time pregnancies to prevent tearing during birth. (For those who have no clue, it’s done ‘from the inside out’). It is also recommended your partner help you… well duh!, a partner is mandatory because you can’t reach the required parts anymore unless you’re built like an orangutan with super long arms! Anyhow, it was weird, awkward and absolutely nothing sexy about it. I internet researched it the day after and so many other women said they either couldn’t reach themselves, it wasn’t worth it or totally strange no matter how open minded you are. Another non-sexy item no one tells you about to add to the growing list as I close in on my due date of September 19th.