A THANK YOU TO THE READERS!!!

Rhys really enjoying his introduction to rice cereal

Tonight I wasn’t feeling great and have just been hanging out in front of the TV or my computer to keep myself occupied… really, I should be in bed because there’s nothing worse than taking care of a baby when you’re ill! Rhys is almost six months old now and he is SO energetic. I find it exhausting to keep him occupied and happy all day long. And now that we’ve started solid foods, I feel like all I do all day is feed him weather it’s solids or breastfeeding. No one really tells you starting solids means doubling up your feeding efforts! I had no idea you had to keep up the same amount of breastfeeding and/or formula.

Anyhow, procrastinating my bedtime and puttering around wasting precious energy, I went to the Mother’s Touch blog to ‘look around’ and discovered all the comments posted to previous posts by the readers – some as far back as July and August! I had no idea the comments were there until tonight! I’ve often wondered “Who reads this blog other than my friends and family?”

The readers’ comments have truly touched me and it makes me feel really warm and fuzzy that I was able to inspire and reach out to other women. (Honestly, I almost cried!!) Thank you for taking the time to read our thoughts and feelings. I wish everyone the best with their babies!!!

Hugs to all,
Ginny

POSTPARTUM STUFF NO ONE TELLS YOU ABOUT

OK, I started this blog posting about 10 weeks ago when Rhys was 10 weeks old. I can’t believe how time has flown by… below in italics is my original posting with new commentary thereafter:

It’s mommy Ginny again and Rhys is now 10 weeks old. At just over two months, he is 90th percentile in both height and weight growth. He’s grown 9 cm since birth and has gained over five pounds from his discharge weight. He’s already into 3-6 months clothing! Every day, I am amazed at how fast they grow and develop. He’s just started to smile and laugh silently; I can’t wait for the day his giggles make noise. For now, I’ll take the all over body smiles he beams at us when he’s happy.


The Sixth Week Shock… Otherwise known as the postpartum six week following up with your OB… I had a caesarean section so not sure if this applies to women who had natural births. When I was called into the room, they gave me a gown and said I can undress from the bottom down. I looked at the nurse with utter confusion thinking to myself, “WHY? The baby is no longer inside me!” But just a polite “Why?” came out and she said they needed to do a pap test. Inside my head I screamed, “ARE YOU SHI**ING ME!?!!?!?” I thought the six week follow-up was to see how the baby was doing, not how my parts were doing! Well, upon the words “pap test”, without saying a word, my husband immediately turned around and wheeled the baby with him back into the waiting room. Like most women, I hate these tests and even more so, hate being surprised with one.


Then my OB comes into the room with a chirpy, warm “Hi, how are you doing?” her first question after that was “Have you had intercourse yet?” To which I responded a very surprised and disgusted “NO WAY! Are you kidding me!? It was only last week I started touching my incision site!” I can see she tried her hardest not to laugh. Then I wondered, how many women say yes?

So, in the 13 weeks since the traumatic sixth week follow-up, I’ve started to poll other new mommies on how long it took them to have sex again. It took us a very long time and from my point of view, it was more to get it over with than anything (I’m sure my husband has different thoughts on this subject). I’ve heard 3.5 months, 5.5 months, etc, and one of my friends asked me “Do what?” when I asked her “How long did it take you to do it again?” We had a good laugh because obviously ‘doing it’ didn’t even register in her vocabulary anymore. Then I realized, the average for vaginal births is 4 to 6 weeks and c-sections is 6 to 8 weeks. That’s AVERAGE, which means there are women who do it really early after birth to bring the average up! That’s just crazy!

Other stuff no one tells you about… if I listed everything this blog would be pages and pages long. But not wanting to bore everyone to death, I’ll just list a few:

- Babies sleep the most in the first two or three weeks. You feel like hell and like you’re going to die from sleep deprivation but in hindsight, he slept so much and I had so much more free time. The older they get, the less free time you have. I wished I knew that before he was born!

- We’ve just started sleep training Rhys now that he’s 4.5 months and we’ve resorted to the ‘cry it out method’ (the book we’re referencing is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child). ‘Cry it out’ should be renamed to ‘breaking mommy’s heart’. It’s so difficult to listen to them helplessly cry but we’re really trying to stick to it and hopefully bedtime bliss won’t be too far away.

- Do not put your baby in a light coloured outfit if he hasn’t pooped in over 24 hours! One afternoon after Rhys didn’t poop the day before (he normally poops 5-6 times a day, with two huge morning poops), I had him in an off-white sleeper… well, that sleeper was no longer white by the time he was done! There was poop everywhere! I had it on my pants, on my shirt, it covered his back! I can’t believe so much explosive poop can come out of such a tiny human being!

- Babies go through the teething process months before teeth actually appear! Rhys started having teething symptoms at three months and has been a chewing drooling machine since.

- The first time your baby laughs out loud at a tickle or a kiss or a peek-a-boo or just by looking at him, it completely melts your heart. The first time Rhys laughed out loud when I was kissing his belly brought tears to my eyes.

- Whoever you were as a person before your baby arrived does not matter as much; you are now ‘your baby’s mother’. It’s been a difficult adjustment for me (and I’m still adjusting). I joined a mommy group and it wasn’t until our fifth meeting that we all found out what we did for work before our babies were born.

- Stretch marks don’t necessary show up while you’re pregnant but ‘magically’ appear when you start shrinking back down to your pre-pregnancy size! I thought I escaped stretch marks because I didn’t have any when I was huge and 45 pounds bigger than I started. Then one day, at that point I’d lost about 30 pounds, I noticed it looked like Freddy Krueger attached my butt! Stretch marks galore made an unwelcomed appearance all over my butt and outer thighs! Oh well, they’re my ‘baby trophy’ marks I guess.

Well, I’ve probably bored you all to death by now and I need to do some errands now that Rhys is sleeping (after 1.5 hours of crying tonight!) Life as a mommy has been much more rewarding and fun once we graduated from ‘The first three months’. But babies really are time and energy wasters… who knows how long it will take me to write my next blog posting, if I ever get around to another one!

Rhys and I at a corporate luncheon in
December 2010. He looks like a nerdy economist!



Jack - The First Month

Today my son Jack is one month old! How time flies!

The past month has been filled with trials, tribulations, happiness and sleep deprivation.

I’ve learned that going from one kid to two is a MAJOR adjustment. It’s actually pretty insane – perhaps that’s because Grace is still pretty young and requires a lot of attention and supervision. For instance – I could be sitting on the couch breastfeeding Jack and my little Gracie is wandering the house. Anyone with a toddler knows that an unsupervised 21 month old wandering the house = trouble. So poor Jack gets ripped off the boob because his older sister is either stuffing the toilet full of toilet paper, banging away on our computer, or calling some far off country on my cell phone. Lovely.

I’ve also had the pleasure of taking both kids out by myself. This entailed getting both of them out the door and in the car – by myself (key words here being “by myself”). This was not an easy task and caused me extreme stress.

Apart from being a curious little girl, Gracie is in love with her little brother. She asks where he is as soon as she wakes up and wants to hold and kiss him all the time. I am thankful for this. However, she is still adjusting to having to share mommy and daddy’s attention with the new sheriff in town. The frequency of tantrums has definitely increased – to say the least. This could be due to the fact that she is entering the “terrible two” phase but I have a sneaking suspicion that it’s her way of getting attention when she wants it. It seems to be slowly getting better and I pray that it is because dealing with a toddler who has thrown herself on the ground and is screaming is not my cup of tea when I’m running on limited sleep.

Speaking of limited sleep – WOAH!!! I forgot how crappy the sleeping situation actually is with a newborn. Getting up a couple of times in the night to feed a baby is not what I call fun. Like I’ve said before though – I know this phase is only temporary and knowing that is getting me through this.

I’ve just realized that I’ve been a bit of a Debbie Downer myself here (and if you’ve read my previous blogs, you’ll know that I am not a fan of Debbie Downers). So let me get to the good stuff:

Jack is a great baby. Right from day one, he has known that night = sleep. He only wakes up in the night to feed and goes right back to sleep after. He also only cries if he’s hungry. I can’t imagine having a baby with colic, and am thankful that Jack is in the clear.

I am so happy that Jack is finally here. Everyday I am amazed at how much I love my children. Even though Jack is making me a little bit sleep deprived, it really is all worth it. And although two kids is a ton of work, I wouldn’t want it any other way. I am so happy that Grace and Jack have each other – someone to play with, grow up with, and share childhood memories with.

Introducing My Son! He's Here!

I am proud to introduce to you Jack Eric Van Allen!

My little man is finally here. I am so happy. No more big pregnant belly!

Jack was born at 10:44am on September 28th weighing in at 7lbs 13oz.

Let me start by telling you about my delivery and Sunnybrook experience. So the c-section was scheduled for 8am. Obviously I was WAY too excited to get much sleep the night before. So least to say, I was very tired when the alarm went off at 4:30am. We were told to be there for 6am, so I wanted plenty of time to make sure I had everything for the hospital.

We arrive and are told that my c-section will be delayed. This was because the water broke of the woman who was scheduled to have her c-section after me. I was sooooo disappointed that I had to wait! Seeing that I lack patience you can just imagine how I felt. The nerve of this women going ahead and breaking her water!!! (Obviously I am just kidding….kinda)

Turns out we only had to wait a couple of hours. I strolled into the operating room at around 10am sat on the table and got my spinal tap. Ouch! I don’t remember it hurting that bad before, but I survived. So the c-section starts and when I glance up at the nice scene of clouds, treetops, and blue sky spanning the ceiling, I realize that it actually has a mirror effect because it is so glossy. Say what?!?!? That’s right – I was able to watch the whole surgery via the “mirror” on the ceiling. I’m sure this will be very off-putting for some women, but I was actually quite interested to see what was happening.

I actually watched my Doctor pull little Jack from my belly. How neat is that? I also got to see my uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries. When my Doctor was sewing me up, she gave me a little biology lesson: “See Andrea, this is your uterus, these are your fallopian tubes, etc., etc.”

The following two days were spent getting to know our new son at Sunnybrook. The nurses and staff were fantastic; as was the room we were in. We were discharged on September 30th.

So here I am at home again with a tiny newborn. I forgot how much newborn babies sleep! It’s great! I also forgot that extreme tired feeling of waking a baby up every three hours during the night to feed. I know this stage doesn’t last forever, and knowing that is getting me through this period.

My plan is to exclusively breastfeed Jack for at least a few months. This is kinda new to me, because my Daughter was supplemented right from the start because she had lost too much weight in the hospital – this in turn made it very easy for me to throw in the towel on the whole breastfeeding business with her.

It’s amazing how stressful breastfeeding can be at the start. You have no idea how much your baby is getting. I found I was wondering all the time if Jack is getting enough to eat. It really stressed me out – enough to do something about it because I had the can of formula out and ready to go!

My solution was an amazing Breastfeeding Counsellor. She makes home visits, which is what I was looking for. She was so fantastic. She was at my home for almost two hours and really gave me the confidence I need to get this job done! She weighed Jack before and after a feeding and I’ve since learned that he is getting plenty to eat and therefore gained some peace of mind. If anyone out there is in need of such a service, I highly recommend her. Her name is Maria Lameiro and she can be reached at mariacecilia@doulanatur.com or 647-214-1516.

I have so much more to tell you about – i.e. how my little Gracie is adjusting to being a big sister, which is another whole blog in itself. So I will save that for the next entry. In the meantime, I’ve included a great photo that shows the amazement on Gracie’s face of this tiny human known as her little brother Jack.

Ginny's first month as a mommy…

Rhys turned one month old on October 3rd … how time flies! On one hand, the past month has been excruciatingly long and painful due to lack of sleep and exhaustion. On the other hand, I can’t believe a month has already passed and I’m already 1/12th of the way through my maternity leave.

I now have new admiration for the billions of women who have had children, especially those who have had twins (or more!) and the single mothers of this world. My experiences are not unique or new to motherhood but they are new and unique to my life… here are a few notables ones.

In awe of the female anatomy… In the past month, I have weighed (in pounds) in the 150’s, 140’s, 130’s and finally broke through the 120’s. I never appreciated the wonders of a women’s body and the changes it goes through before and after childbirth until I experienced it. The 40 pound I gained over nine months was gradual and less noticeable, it just kind of creeps up on you. However, I’m finding the rate of recovery to my original size amazing. Hands down, breastfeeding is the greatest weight loss program ever! I have not yet started exercising and am trying to eat as healthy and balanced as possible. I still have another 15 pounds to lose… probably the most difficult 15 of the 40!

The Twin Geysers… as mentioned in previous blogs, my boobs grew from an A/B cup to a D cup while I was pregnant… now that my milk has come in and I am breastfeeding a ferocious eater around the clock, they clock in at an E cup! I cannot believe how huge they are and as my body sheds the pregnancy weight, they look ridiculous! My husband doesn’t find them attractive at all and I don’t blame him… my previously tiny perky cute breasts have become these huge veiny milk sacs that leak all over the place! And I don’t mean dribble, dribble leaking; I’m talking full on spraying my baby in the face with breast milk as I try to get him to latch! I fear the day I stop breastfeeding and they start to shrink back down to their original size… they’re going to look so ugly!

To cut or not to cut?… my husband and I did not find out the sex of our baby before he was born but we debated the circumcision decision in preparation of having a boy. Then arrived our adorable son… and the 14 day window to decide to circumcise or not. We had asked close male relatives and friends what they’ve done/would do, and minus religious and medical reasons, the universal answer was “because my dad is/isn’t”. Well, my husband is circumcised so we decided to go ahead with the procedure because neither one of us are familiar with caring for or cleaning foreskin. …it was a horribly emotional experience FOR ME! I was so upset I was putting my five day old baby through such pain for aesthetics. I was on the brink of tears while talking to the doctor beforehand, cried in the waiting room, and it took every ounce of me to keep my tears at bay afterwards while listening how to care for “the site” over the following week. However, he didn’t seem to really notice or be any crankier, it healed within five days and overall I think the process ‘hurt’ me more than it hurt him. Now he has a perfect little circumcised baby penis and no memory of the ordeal.



September 17 - my sleeping beauty

The many facets of Rhys… It is namazing how different my baby looks to me depending on my mood… or his mood! There’s the purple-faced monster that cries at the top of his lungs like someone is torturing him when he is hungry, unhappy or being changed, the cuddly playful monkey who’s in a quiet alert once or twice a day taking in everything around him, and the cutest and most loving baby in the world no matter what he’s doing when I’m well rested and not in C Section recovery pain. Then there’s the little monster that’s not so cute no matter what he does when I’m feeling overwhelmed with exhaustion and sleep deprivation. I feel horrible admitting this but I’m sure I’m not alone.

Adjusting to motherhood… The very first full day I was left alone with Rhys he was 26 days old and I cried, more than once. I found it overwhelming and emotional to be left alone for 12 hours, to have no one to hand the baby off so I can shower or eat or just have a little break. Rhys seemed extra fussy and clingy that day and he wouldn’t let me put him down. Each time I tried he would cry frantically. That day, I gained new appreciation for the support of family members and a new respect for single mothers who do this alone all day, every day.

It has taken me two days to compile this posting, it takes twice as long to type when you’re holding a baby in one arm or only have minutes between fussy times. I now realize time is no longer mine, Rhys’ time has become my time… only for now at least, I hope! I now also understand why parents are always late, it’s their babies schedules not theirs! There always seems to be a full poopy diaper or a hungry baby minutes before you want to leave.

I am still in my four to six week C Section recovery period but am feeling better each day. Every time I see my scar, I cannot believe the tiny little human I am holding was pulled out of there. The miracle of life is truly an amazing experience, but one I’m not sure I want to repeat ever again…

The Time Has Come!

Well here I am on the eve of the birth of my second child.

Tomorrow is the big day. C-section is scheduled for 8am tomorrow morning. We have to be at Sunnybrook at 6am. It’s so early, but really – do I expect to sleep tonight?? No! Insomnia has already kicked in full force. Last night I woke up at 2:30am for one of many washroom trips and found I couldn’t fall back to sleep because of the anticipation of tomorrow. So there I was doing laundry and reading way before the crack of dawn this morning.

I think I have everything ready to go. Bassinet is out and waiting for that warm little body, all the tiny little clothes are washed, and I’ve boiled all bottles, nipples, pacifiers, etc. that I may have to use.

My little Gracie is now at her Grandparents awaiting the arrival of her little brother. She’s 21 months old now and I don’t think she has a clue what is about to happen. I am so excited for her to meet her brother. I’m actually just as excited for that moment as I am about the birth.


Knowing that I’ll finally meet my new little man in a matter of hours is truly overwhelming. This is way better than that feeling you get on Christmas Eve as a kid. I’ve already gotten a sneak peek of his little face at my 35 week ultrasound and I’ve included the photo here for you. Looks like he’s going to have some chubby cheeks and a lot of hair. I’m sure those cheeks are a result of my pecan tart cravings – which never subsided!


Well – I’ll end this posting here because I am too scatter-brained right now to keep going…..and I can’t stop thinking of ice cream so I need to go get some!

Thank you for sharing this journey with me and reading my posts. I look forward to updating you on the birth of my little boy….very soon!

Welcoming Rhys Sebastian Minh Morgan



Day 4

Well folks, I didn’t make it to my due date of September 19th nor did I make it to the new Sunnybrook facility. I had a caesarean section on Friday, September 3rd at Women’s College Hospital and Rhys Sebastian Minh Morgan was born at 6:06 pm weighing in at a hefty 8 pounds 8 ounces. Unfortunately I was also unable to attend the Sunnybrook grand opening on Sept 2nd – which I was really looking forward to and told all my family and friends about!



A few notables since September 3rd 6:06 pm…

Day 5

My PUPPs rash did not go away with delivery! The only cure for PUPPs is supposed to be delivery but as my unfortunate luck would have it, it didn’t go away and has gotten worse! I am at my wits end with this all over body rash. I am allowing myself the pleasure of scratching because I’m also in recovery pain… seriously, how much should a girl suffer? However, it now looks like I’ve been beaten up because the scratching has caused bruising in areas. Perhaps I’m ultra sensitive to bruising due to the surgery, being in a postpartum period or just plain crappy bad luck? Whatever it is, it sucks! For those of you who are also suffering from this terrible medical mystery, I have found at Kiehl’s a Centella Recovery Skin-Slave that really helps… warning, not cheap (because I slather it on all day) at $59 for a 75 ml tube, but right now I’d pay gold coins for anything that will make this rash go away! My GP said it’s probably just my hormones screaming through my skin and it should hopefully go away in two to four weeks…. Two to four weeks too long in my books!

Day 6


Another thing the books don’t tell you… how much the afterpain contractions hurt if you’ve had a C Section without going into natural labour. I felt like such a wimp for two days when the afterpain contractions hurt so bad I would whine or make heavy breathing noises. Compared to natural labour contractions, I’m sure they’re nothing but I had nothing to compare them too and didn’t enjoy them much at all.



It has taken me two days to write this short little post… I am so confused in this sleepless daze as to where the time goes? I have planned in my head a blog entry entitled “My first week as a mommy” but it’s just finding time to write it that I’m struggling with. It’s amazing how great a two hours stretch of sleep feels since Rhys’ arrival. I never knew I could survive on such little sleep until now…